• 16 solid hours of  lager, cider, pear cider, red wine, AD’s Filipino 39p 65% Rum and Frenchies secret Frisky Bison vodka cocktail doesn’t end happily.
• Always overestimate the amount of mud.  Flip flops are ill advised.
• Sleeping in a tent in the sun past 8am is impossible, even if you only went to sleep at 4am.
• Nobody wins at swing wars!
• Making new friends is simple if you have a child’s bow and arrow kit.
• Female comedians can be funny, check out Holly Walsh.
• Don’t que up for the toilets, use the secret one instead, shhhh!

First off I met Tom in Frieburg for a couple of days, he gave me a tour of the city and I was introduced to Currywust (chips, German sausage and a curry/chilli sauce), I’ve had it four times now and it may well be my new favorite food.

We had a great night out in Freiburg which included a really cool (maybe gay) bar accoustic heavy metal and great nightclub deep under the streets of Freiburg.

Tom had been great and organised a couple of nights away.  The first was in Konstanz on lake Bondensee where we hired mountain bikes to get around and also went for a swim in the lake (Tom forgot his swimming shorts and really did have to do it in his pants).  The second night we spent in Zurich, Switzerland which was OK but didn’t really have the same charm that the German city’s have and to be honest I found it quite pretentious.

We had still had another day to fill in Freiburg so Tom suggested we catch a cable car up one of the nearby mountains, It took about 20 minutes to get to the top and not long after we did the heavens opened and we where treated to a wicked thunderstorm light show.  The treat of being hit by lightning meant that the cable cars got turned off and we thought that we’d be trapped up the mountain until the storm had passed.  After a couple of hours of sitting around in the cafe we found out that there was actually a bus that left every 30 minutes.

Later that evening I caught an overnight train up to Berlin and met up with Rachel and Becky (who where also on an overnight train from Paris) in the small hours of Thursday morning.  Hannah had (strongly) suggested  we visited the Tacheles which is a squat that has been used by artists to create and sell their artwork since the fall of the Berlin Wall.  The place is covered in Graffiti and cool sculptures but it defiantly still fells (and smells) like a squat.  Rachel’s friend Claire arrived later in the afternoon and we all went out for Tapas and a few drinks back in the grounds of the Tacheles

The following day we did a few of the more touristy things like The Reichstag and the Brandonburg gate followd by the The memorial to murdered Jews and the museum below it which was heart wrenching.  It did a really good job of focusing on the individual stories, it’s hard to understand that something so horrendous could have happened realtivly not that long ago (and is still going on in various forms today).

We cheered our selves up by going on an Anti Pub-Crawl which was brilliant, we started off in a 60/70′s reggae/ska bar follows by a Goth Horror bar (which is owned by Rammenstien).  We where loaded onto a party bus which comes complete with it’s own bar and were driven around Berlin for over 2 hours before being dropped off at night club in a bombed out railway station. We got back to the hostel in the daylight around 5:30am.
The pervious nights partying meant that the next day was a right off and we spent the afternoon dozing in the local park. We did make it to Check Point Charlie in the evening and had a look round the museum there followed by organic kebabs (it’s OK to eat them here even if your sober) and an early night.

I went to see Mark Thomas last night.  His show is based around the audience suggesting policies from which a few are selected and put forward to a vote at the end of the show. The winning policy would then be added to Marks Manifesto on which he will actively campaign on.  My policy suggestion that the suffix MP should be replaced by a word beginning with C was read out but went in the no pile (I can imagine that it would be quite a hard one to campaign for).

He also talked about trying to get rid of Tax Havens like Jersey; apparently Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs rent all their buildings from a company called Mapeley.  This company is registered in Jersey and therefore don’t pay tax so Mark suggested a small demonstration outside HMRC in Leamington in favor of arming tax inspectors and invading Jersey.

UPDATE:

Although the Leamington courier printed the story on the front page, I didn’t quite make it in, although I did get a couple of photos and quoted on the website

4 years of doing Newt Surveys with Tim, I finally saw my first Great Crested Newt on a golf course in Beconsfield.
Click on the picture to see more.

The first day of Chines New Year started well, We said goodbye to Mr Stephen from the KL Chinatown2 hotel and loaded our hungover heads into the minivans that would take us to Port Dickson which should only be 2 hours away, but because Port Dickson is the nearest beach resort to KL the Chinese new year tourist traffic put us back by another few hours.

The hotel we stayed in was quite full of people celebrating the New Year, although it was all very strange to see the pool and beach full of fully clothed people. I’m not sure if it’s because I’d been spoilt by the beaches of Thailand, but the beaches of Port Dickson seemed really bad with large areas of what I assume was coal and you have to go out about 100m before the sea comes past your belly button. Also because it is a predominantly Muslim resort, we couldn’t get a beer anywhere.

We past the first evening playing cards, drinking coke and eating crisps. We had heard that there was a small secluded beach about 30 mins walk away, so we spent most of the next day down there. We had the beach to ourselves for most off the day but swimming proved to be a bit troublesome with all the sharp rocks quite close to the surface threatening to cut our arms and legs to shreds.

The next day we headed down to Melaka, which is more of a happening place, with more of a small city feel to it. Kate gave us a quick guided tour of the city and left us to explore the the central area and Jonker Street which I found very good for cheap t-shirts. Alot of the restaurants where still closed because of Chinese new year and the ones that where open were fully booked, but we did manage to find one small one open, but unfortunately turned out to be one of the worst meals of my travels. Everyone’s order was wrong and the food that did come was almost inedible. It was all a bit of a shame because it was the last meal we would have together as a group. We ended the night drinking rum that I’d smuggled from Thailand and playing cards in the garden of the guest house we where in.

We were all up for 6am the next morning to catch a public bus down to Singapore, my last stop before heading home. I spent the afternoon with the girls in a shopping mall before we headed over to the Raffles hotel for Singapore Slings in the famous Long Bar. I’d heard from everybody that it was the one “must do” thing in Singapore. Personally I was a little more interested in trying to work out which parts of the city were used for the F1 Grand Prix (but that’s just me being sad). It took a while to find the bar, we started off in the normal hotel bar, and it took me a while to convince the girls that the place we wanted had peanut shells all over the floor, anyway we eventually found it and paid the equivalent of £14 each for our cocktails (they were good, but I’m not sure they were worth £14). The rest of the evening was spent at the Clarke Quay area which is full of theme bars and restaurants but it was quite expensive and not really my scene so I left after one drink.

I was supposed to spend two nights in Singapore, but I was able to move to an earlier flight for free which meant that I would be able to have a couple of days recovering from jetlag before I went back to work. So I had a 13 hour flight home and jumped on a national express back to a very cold Coventry.

I guess that’s it then, until my next trip…

After 3 days on the beach in Krabi it was time to get back to city life with two nights on the Island of Penang and another two in Kuala Lumpar (or KL as the locals like to call it).
Penang is a fairly small island of the Northwest coast of Malaysia. The population of Malaysia is mainly Muslim and because of that the cost of Alcohol is roughly 3 times that of Thailand (actually about the same price as in the UK but I’ve been getting used to cheep booze over the past few months.
Next door to our hotel in Penang was a mosque. Normally I’m quite happy to go along with most local customs and respect people’s religious beliefs but the 05:50 call to prayer was pushing my tolerance levels a little.

We had an orientation walk around the city and a meal at a very cool food court although I’m not entirely sure what I was eating, but it had all been incredibly well deep fried. I was a bit but off by the stall selling curried fish heads though.

The following day we went for a guided tour of Penang with our guide Mr Stephen who was a little camp, but I thought he was quite funny. He took us to a Fort Cornwallis (apparently the first British settlement in Penang). The Chinese piers which I didn’t really understand and 3 different Buddhist temples.
That evening we went to little India for dinner and for less than £2 you can buy: tandoori chicken, nan bread, salad and a fruit juice. Following that we found a fairly quite local bar for a few pints (that cost twice as much as the meal).

From Penang it was a 6 hour trip to KL where we stayed in Chinatown on Petaling street (famous for fake designer clothes). Not long after arriving we went for an orientation walk, and after 20 minutes the heavens opened and we were trapped under a pergola that did little to keep the rain out. We had to abandon the walk and run back to the hotel for a quick shower and change before we headed over to the Petronas towers (probably best known from the end of the movie entrapment). We must have spent a good hour at the towers just taking photos; I was really impressed with the way they were lit up, totally dominating the skyline. We headed back to the hotel for a few rum and cokes (I smuggled the rum from Thailand) and a movie in the hotel lobby. One of the guys on reception at the hotel (another Mr Stephen) joined us and I think he took a shine to one of the girls in the group because he went out and bought some DVD’s for us along with a more rum and cokes for us all. We also decided to go out the following night with him and a few of his friends for Chinese New Year.

We spent our only full day wondering about the city, firstly we tried to get into the National Mosque at which we were told that it was closed to “Non Muslim Tourists” followed by a trip up the Menara tower (the 4th largest communications tower in the world) from which we got a really good view of the city. Included in the price was a visit to the Winter par (a really tacky collection of inflatable snowmen and polar bears), Animal World (with very questionable animal welfare) and a go on an F1 simulator but unfortunately I was too tall and fat to be allowed on. We also had an Indian buffet which may have been some of the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten.

That evening we met up with Mr Stephen and his friends and were taken to a club advertising “Malaysia’s Premier Rock Band” I thought they were great but most of the group didn’t really enjoy. The club also sold drinks by the bottle (I mean vodka not beer). For 300 RM (£60) you get a bottle of your choice of vodka a bowl of ice and as much mixer as you want. After the band finished they played some more danceable music which seemed to put a bit more of a smile on everyone’s face. I heard a few fireworks going off for Chinese New Year, but after all that Vodka, it was time to leave

Due to the tour I booked down to Singapore being cancelled, I booked another one with Intrepid that was very similar although it did mean that I would go Back to Kao Sok National Park for a couple of nights (see previous blog).

So my last tour started with another overnight train down to Surat Thani then a minibus over to the park. Since I had so much fun last time, I convinced everyone we should go tubing down the river again. Didn’t see many snakes this time but we did stop off at the monkey temple again. We found a little cool bar that was ran by English guy selling large 750ml beers for 50 baht (£1) so spent the evening there getting a little tipsy with the Irish couple Steve & Maria.

I decided to spend the next day by myself just chilling out in the jungle, had a little wonder in the stream and watched the wildlife go by. I was really impressed that they had Wifi, so spent a large part of the day sitting on my porch playing on the internet. We went back to the same bar for dinner and a few beers; it was pretty cool having English style chips again with brown sauce.

The next three days we spent in Krabi which is a beautiful area full of islands and beaches (they actually filmed The Beach one of the islands) it’s also really overrun with Tourists. We did spend one day touring all the islands and lagoons on a speed boat and snorkelling around all the coral. I’ve never snorkelled before and it took me quite a while to get used to breathing underwater. Matters weren’t helped by the guys on the boat throwing bread at me causing the fish to go into a feeding frenzy around me (even having a little nibble at my fingers). We even stopped at a beach that was inhabited by a tribe of monkeys (that seemed to like coke). It was a really amazing day that I’m not likely to forget in a hurry.

We arrived back in Bangkok bus station without any real plans on what we were going to do for the last few nights before Pam flew back. We decided on the Patpong area because someone had recommended it and it was close to the skytrain route. Patpong is quite a touristy area famous for it’s night market, pole dancing bars and ping pong shows. Since we only had a couple of days before Pam flew home we opted for a slightly more upmarket hotel (one with hot water, AC and a slightly lower mosquito count), which compared to the accommodation we’d had during our previous few weeks was real luxury.

Pam was quite keen on seeing more tigers so we booked a one day tour up to Kanchanaburi; home to famous bridge on the River Kwai and the Tiger Temple.

We were picked up from the hotel at an eye watering 6am and driven the 3 hours north/west to Kanchanaburi where we first visited the Commonwealth Cemetery for the POW’s that were killed during the construction of the “death” railway followed by a visit to the WWII museum. The museum was a little bit poor, I don’t want to take anything away from the horribleness that went on during the war, but it surely deserves a better memorial than that, there are very crudely made models and murals and a few original cars and bombs. We were given two hours to visit the museum and bridge and we must have done it all within one hour. Next we went for lunch at a very cool floating restaurant, the food was quite simple but the view of the river was quite breathtaking. We were bundled back in the bus again and taken to waterfall that the kids were using as a waterpark. It turns out that it was national children’s day in Thailand and I guess it’s the day that all the kids get to go out and have fun. It was really interesting to see how little heath and safety there was, they just don’t have the same blame culture we have.

Finally we got to the tiger temple or Wat Pha Luang Ta Bua to give it’s proper name. It started out as an animal sanctuary with a few orphaned tiger cubs. Tigers are now the mane focus of the place (although there’s lots of other animals wondering around) and certainly a huge tourist attraction. For 500 baht (£10) you get access to the temple and can have your photo taken with about 5 different tigers (only by yourself). If you feel like splashing out an extra 1,500 baht (£30) on top of the entrance fee you can have a “special photo” in which you lie down with the tiger’s paw around you, or its head on your lap and you and 4 more people in the background. It felt like a really crazy system. It was nothing like the tiger experience in Chiang Mai where you got 20 minutes in the cage with the tigers and could actually play with them. This felt like a conveyor belt of people being taken between the sleeping tigers, snap, snap, snap and you’re done. To be fair there was a little area with a few tiger cubs that you could go and stroke but overall my experience of the day was a little disappointing.

We didn’t realise it but because there was an election on the Sunday, the government suspends all alcohol sales (as if you’d get drunk and vote for the wrong person) which put a bit of a dampner on Pams last night, luckily we had a minibar in the room from which we managed a few bottles of beer and a bottle of gin.

The following morning we said our goodbyes and Pam got a taxi to the airport and I headed to a nearby hostel called LUB*D which sounded a little ominous but tuned out to be quite nice and modern.

I spent the rest of the week getting lost around Bangkok, didn’t have a lot of energy and didn’t really feel like socialising too much so I spent a lot of time chilling in the park watching the lizards trying to catch birds and managed to get to the cinema three times, the movies weren’t really up to much (Madagascar 2, Quarantine and The day the earth stood still) but I did see 2 of them in the IMAX theatre which really was breathtaking. The cinemas in the Siam shopping centre are really good, probably better than most of the one’s back home, but there is one very strange tradition that seems to catch a few non Thai’s out. Before the movie starts they play the national anthem and show a little video of people going abut there lives with pictures of the King in the background. During this you’re expected to stand, but there where always a few westerners nearer the front who sat through the whole thing – oblivious to the dirty look they were getting from the Thai’s.

Whilst I’m on the subject, there are photos of the King everywhere – every shop, home, even by the roadside there’s one of about 6 different photo’s of His Majesty Bhumibol Adulyadej the Great in various poses. The Thai’s truly love him, you’re even warned in the guidebooks not the insult the royal family. I think he’s seen as a semi-divine figure, chosen by god.

My last night in the hostel was a bit of a nightmare, somehow the room had become infested with mosquitoes (or maybe it was just 2 or 3 very big ones), a few people actually left the room. I woke up the next day covered in bites. I must have at least 50 on my body and I counted 17 on my face alone.

For my last day in Bangkok I treated myself to another foot massage and insisted on getting the strongest looking girl in the shop to do it (the last one I had was a bit pathetic). I felt like I was walking on air afterwards.

I’ve joined my last Intrepid group now that will take me on the last leg of my journey down to Singapore. They seem like a good bunch but there’s a bit of a sex imbalance with 9 girls and only 3 boys. But because the other to guys are in couples it means that I get a room to myself every night, so I’m not complaining.

We arrived on a very wet Koh Samui around lunchtime on New Year’s Eve and as we looked out the windows of the bus we could see rivers of rain pouring down the road. The prospect of spending New Years Eve on a wet beach wasn’t really getting us in the spirit.

Our rooms on Koh Samui where basically a terraced version of the bungalows we had in the jungle although the mosquito count was a lot higher, we had (some) hot water and the walls were paper thin.

The weather managed to settle down a bit that evening and because it was New Year all the hotels force you to go to their overpriced dinner and party. The food wasn’t too bad, but once we had our fill we headed out to the beach for cocktails. As we walked along the beach, all the resorts had a bar on the beach and maybe a band playing, all was going well (and getting more blurry) until about 20 minutes before new year when we sat down outside quite a posh hotel and ordered drinks. No drinks came and when the countdown started some of us were a little angry.  It seemed to really halt the flow of the night and after another 30 minutes we were walking back to the hotel.

We got a minibus to one of the bigger beaches (Chewang) on New Year’s Day, it was quite touristy and we had people trying to sell us things all day. It didn’t actually rain, but the threat was always there and no sun managed to peak through the clouds. We spent the evening playing pool and drinking cocktails (I seem to have gotten a real taste for cocktails, especially tequila sunrise).

The high-speed catamaran to Koh Tao was an experience I wouldn’t like to repeat – it jumped about 10 foot in the air across the waves for the duration of the crossing. At least half the people aboard were sick (me included) but the stewards where always ready to pounce on you with a supply of sick bags and tissue paper. All of this whilst a dodgy copy of The Dark Night was playing on the screen above us (although you couldn’t hear it above the groans of people being sick).

The worst 2 hours of my life over and we arrived at our resort on Koh Tao. The sun still wasn’t quite out, but it was certainly trying. Koh Tao is the diving capital of Thailand and is a lot more chilled out the Koh Samui. I quite enjoyed the atmosphere on the island and Pam was definitely ready for some lazy beach time. We didn’t really get up to much apart from walking along the beach, eating great Thai food and watching fire shows with a couple of cocktails (maybe a few too many on the last night judging by the state we were in on the last day).

We jumped on the ferry and overnight train back to the mainland and Bangkok where we had a bit of a dilemma. The tour ended once we reached Bangkok train station so we had 5 more nights to fill before Pam returned home so we had a choice of going back to another resort or staying in Bangkok. We took a taxi to the Eastern Bus Station and before we knew it we were headed down to Koh Samet.

Koh Samet is a real tourist island about 3 hours south of Bangkok. I didn’t mind too much, I was quite happy walking up and down the beach or listening to audio books whilst Pam tried to get a tan. Because there’s not much traffic on the island we hired a moped to get around which I think is probably the best thing we’ve done so far. Driving around the pot holed dirt tracks of the island was probably quite dangerous, but so much fun.